travellin' through

I finally watched "Transamerica" tonight, and my wife is right. That is just my sort of movie. Humane, cynical about humanity but generous towards humans, and funny little moments about how little we know ourselves and each other.

I have too many commitment issues to get a tattoo; I can hardly imagine what it would be like to desire gender reassignment surgery. Yet the film raises all sorts of useful questions about who we really are, who we pretend to be, the lies we tell one another and ourselves. And the way that most of us just want somebody to see us for once. To pay enough attention to get us. And yet we keep cutting ourselves off from those who might be able to get to know us that well. Because it's dangerous to be close. It's hazardous to let somebody in--because you never know if you can trust them.

And sometimes the most open people in the world can be the most guarded. I think of a Pedro Almodovar movie where the lead character talks about how drag queens are the most natural people in the world because they have constructed their entire nature from scratch. This is not an exact quote.

Anybody interested in constructing some new reality?

Lunch today was Perkins--coffee and this biscuits and sausage gravy platter from a special menu that emphasizes breakfast all day, as if that were not the whole reason I go to Perkins in the first place. Along with all the fatty things, I ordered my scrambled eggs made with Egg Beaters. A drop in the bucket. And did I mention the best condiment of all: really slow service. They seem to have forgotten my order altogether, and the whole rest of the party was almost finished with their meal before I got mine. And it tasted so good because of the embarassment and hunger. Mmm.