clique track

On "Grey's Anatomy," there has been until recently a shameful neglect of Dr. Miranda Bailey. Finally she is getting a chance to lead again. Her leadership provides me some assertiveness training reinforcement from time to time.

Well, Shonda Rhimes (sister of LeAnn and Busta) is already doing her predictable deflation-of-any-character-who-shows-any-strength-whatsoever thing on Dr. Bailey, and tonight's episode provided me with some food for thought.

First, an old high-school friend showed up to provide a heaping helping of what some call cake. (By the way, Lesley, write your book already. Yes, boys can understand the concept, though probably not immediately and probably never perfectly. In my seven years as a recovering cakeboy, I would claim I have been less cruel to women than before I learned the vocabulary. Sometimes still cruel, of course, but less cruel than before.) And Bailey demonstrated just how powerful an old but life-defining adolescent relationship can remain long after you were supposed to be an adult.

So far, all good, messy, life-situation defining fun.

But then Bailey starts to complain to the local recovering cakeboy (McDreamy), which I approve, and she talks as if the most defeating characteristic of her high school life was wearing a band uniform, and I cannot approve of this one bit.

Why does suddenly membership in the band connote lasting shame into adulthood in our culture? Is this the influence of the "American Pie" movies? Is it really so damaging to think of oneself as a former band geek? I've seen this many places, and it is getting to be an awfully unfair cliche.

My wife claims that this shame varies from school to school, or from region to region. But I would claim that band members should have fewer lasting effects from high school geekitude than other kinds of high school geeks.

Yes, at the time I was occasionally ashamed of my membership in the band rather than in other, more prestigious, high school cliques. In high school, I felt like a geek for enjoying the band so much. But in retrospect, the band was a relatively healthy community that instilled self-respect and leadership ability and plenty of friends and support for its members. And the ability to play an instrument is something to enjoy later in life, not be ashamed of.

(Maybe doing a pronounced "glide stride" during the parade at my son's music class was something to be embarrassed about. I don't know. Other people seemed to be laughing at me.)

And at least I wasn't in the orchestra.

Lunch today was red beans and rice from a cheap mix. With lots of saltines, extra spices, and water. And then I cooked a whole 'nother meal for supper to cover up the smell, due to lingering trauma from an unfortunate olfactory incident during my wife's pregnancy.

autumn

Today the leaves have faded a bit. The other day they were yellow like banana peels. Today they are more like Post Toasties.

I made a point of walking a bit extra on my way to work. I parked in my usual place, but chose to walk all the way around the block instead of going directly in the door. And I enjoyed the weather.

It's a wellness thing.

For breakfast today my toddler Grant and I made muffins and cornbread. They tasted so good because they were made with pedagogy.

right now stuff

1. Because of a new health plan, I went in for my first ever annual physical yesterday. During the physical, the doctor started chatting me up. Mind you, this is a doctor I have seen dozens of times with my wife or my kids. This may be the first time I ever met with him by myself. He opened up about himself and his family much more than he ever has before when I've been there with my wife. Which made the rubber glove component all the more awkward.

2. This morning the sidewalk outside my office was covered with bright yellow leaves. The tree there has nearly emptied itself, and I got to shuffle through, feeling like a toddler again.

3. I don't know whether I should mow my lawn one more time or not. It's beginning to freeze at night, which I understand is dangerous for the grass. But the grass is just barely tall enough that I would have mowed it last weekend if I had had time.

4. I failed to remember the Fifth of November until Len on "Dancing with the Stars" mentioned fireworks day. I am intrigued by Guy Fawkes Day: Why do we want to remember this? (Unless we happen to be anarchists.)

5. I am wearing really warm socks. But I still feel cold. Maybe I should put on a second pair.

6. I feel guilty telling stories like the above to my blog before I tell my wife, but we keep falling asleep really early on the couch.

7. For lunch yesterday, I had a Burger King spicy chicken sandwich, cheesy tots, and then half an hour later a full butterburger basket from Culver's with green beans and Diet Coke mixed with red Hi-C. I had been fasting.

feliz dia de la muerta

One of my favorite computer games ever is "Grim Fandango"--a graphic adventure where you play a grim reaper trying to function as a travel agent for the recently deceased. You attempt to sell people deluxe packages for their travel through the next stage of the afterlife, and their currency is based on their good deeds on earth. It's all the sort of thing that Martin Luther would have written some theses about, but it's presented very amusingly.

The graphic style is based on Central American native cultures and on recent Mexican Day of the Dead popular art. And I am hooked. I am endlessly fascinated with the Aztec culture of death, the pan de los muertos, the toys and folk art of "skinny ones" (i.e., skeletons) doing everyday silly things. It seems much more healthy to me than our norteamericano avoidance of the whole subject.

And I remember a poem from a book I gave away about a boy whose mother took him to cemeteries a lot. The last line was something like, "The more time you spend with the dead, the less you have to say."

I need to spend some time in a cemetery this week.

Lunch today was leftover pizza from a Halloween party. Cheese pizza from Godfather's.