On "Grey's Anatomy," there has been until recently a shameful neglect of Dr. Miranda Bailey. Finally she is getting a chance to lead again. Her leadership provides me some assertiveness training reinforcement from time to time.
Well, Shonda Rhimes (sister of LeAnn and Busta) is already doing her predictable deflation-of-any-character-who-shows-any-strength-whatsoever thing on Dr. Bailey, and tonight's episode provided me with some food for thought.
First, an old high-school friend showed up to provide a heaping helping of what some call cake. (By the way, Lesley, write your book already. Yes, boys can understand the concept, though probably not immediately and probably never perfectly. In my seven years as a recovering cakeboy, I would claim I have been less cruel to women than before I learned the vocabulary. Sometimes still cruel, of course, but less cruel than before.) And Bailey demonstrated just how powerful an old but life-defining adolescent relationship can remain long after you were supposed to be an adult.
So far, all good, messy, life-situation defining fun.
But then Bailey starts to complain to the local recovering cakeboy (McDreamy), which I approve, and she talks as if the most defeating characteristic of her high school life was wearing a band uniform, and I cannot approve of this one bit.
Why does suddenly membership in the band connote lasting shame into adulthood in our culture? Is this the influence of the "American Pie" movies? Is it really so damaging to think of oneself as a former band geek? I've seen this many places, and it is getting to be an awfully unfair cliche.
My wife claims that this shame varies from school to school, or from region to region. But I would claim that band members should have fewer lasting effects from high school geekitude than other kinds of high school geeks.
Yes, at the time I was occasionally ashamed of my membership in the band rather than in other, more prestigious, high school cliques. In high school, I felt like a geek for enjoying the band so much. But in retrospect, the band was a relatively healthy community that instilled self-respect and leadership ability and plenty of friends and support for its members. And the ability to play an instrument is something to enjoy later in life, not be ashamed of.
(Maybe doing a pronounced "glide stride" during the parade at my son's music class was something to be embarrassed about. I don't know. Other people seemed to be laughing at me.)
And at least I wasn't in the orchestra.
Lunch today was red beans and rice from a cheap mix. With lots of saltines, extra spices, and water. And then I cooked a whole 'nother meal for supper to cover up the smell, due to lingering trauma from an unfortunate olfactory incident during my wife's pregnancy.
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4 comments:
My dear, you only wish you were cool enough to be in the orchestra
It's true. I'm just jealous that my school never had an orchestra. Or a musical until the year after I left. Grr.
Any thoughts on which high school cliques are more permanetly damaging to their members? Stoners? Popular kids? Chess club?
Breakfast was Krispy Kreme donuts and sundries from the new convenience store around the block. Great convenience store, not such great donuts this time.
I was totally oblivious to the idea that my high school had cliques until recently. Apparently, I somehow managed to disregard the entire social structure of my high school and just operated however I wanted to.
As a College Republican, I was completely aware that my college had cliques. (My clique could be found wearing the blue blazers, flag ties, and khaki pants, of course.) I would have to say that the most damaging of college cliques would be the medievalists.
On another topic, why hasn't my cakeboy improved after I explained "cake" to him???
I am jealous of your Krispy Kremes. I had Cool Ranch Doritos with cheese dip and salsa, pickles, milk, coffee, and four mini Kit Kats for lunch today. Kind of gross.
Mosup: Now, by "medievalists" do you mean members of the Society for Creative Anachronism or D&D'ers or Vulgate-Latin scholastics or fundamentalist Lutherans? Those were some of the dangerous cliques I was aware of. The latter was especially dangerous at grad school.
Seriously, though: I lived on the honors floor of my enormous dormitory, and every weekend, for the entire weekend, the largest study lounge was taken over by the local D&D crowd. Their studies and personal hygiene would suffer greatly, to the point where members of that group would frequently get kicked off the floor for academic reasons. But they would still return for the weekend marathons. Sometimes the lounge was occupied all weekend, and none of the players were actually residents of the floor. This clique caused suffering.
Also, perhaps only Lesley can explain cake to boys. This territory is too dangerous for non-experts without hazmat suits. Write that book, O Patron Saint!
Today breakfast was homemade omelets: 2 eggs, fancy-shredded colby-jack cheese (lately I prefer the non-fancy shreds, especially with cheddar), and lots of butter. Breakfast Blend coffee from the bulk bins at Target, and a chocolate chip granola bar on the way out the door.
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